When I had my second daughter, I realized how different it was to have two kids. The first child gets your undivided attention, but after you have your second child it all changes. No matter how hard you try, your attention is divided between two children. You feel guilty because you feel like you aren’t giving enough attention to the oldest child, because they are used to recieving it and now their is a “new kid on the block”. Especially when the baby is young, you are very busy with nursing, changin bums, etc, to devote all of your attention to your toddler who is used to recieving it.

And then there is the baby. You spend all of your time breastfeeding, changing diapers, etc; and then you try and pay some attention to the toddler. You sort of feel like you are short-changing the younger child also because you aren’t giving them the undivided attention that the first child got, and not as many cuddles. Not to mention, you get the jelousy from the older sibling, which just makes you feel that much more guilty.

Then my husband comes home. Yeah!!! I have spent a lot of my day with the baby, doing laundry, doing dishes, cleaning up, etc; so I would have liked to play with my oldest child too. However, Daddy has been gone all day and he is “Mr. fun bags”. When he comes in, my oldest daughter just loves to play with him, so again, I feel bad. For bedtime, he puts the older child to bed, while I put the baby to bed. This is because the baby and Natara go to bed at the same time. The baby doesn’t take a bottle, so naturally it is me who does it.

One thing my husband and I have started is the “tag team”. Once a month or so, my husband gets to spend some time alone with the baby. He doesn’t get a lot of that because the baby refuses a bottle, and by the time he gets home at night, we eat and put the kids to bed. It is difficult because I have to time it around the feedings. This way, I get to spend some quality time with just Natara and I , like it used to be. Sometimes we go to McDonalds, sometimes Toys R Us, and today we went to the park.

It was such a wonderful day. The sun was shining, Natara was riding her tricycle, we built some sandcastles, I pushed her on the swing, and we had a lot of fun. It was time for just Natara and I to reconnect and spend some good, quality time together. It was nice for my husband too, because he doesn’t get to cuddle the baby too much either.

Although having another child does divide some of the attention, having more than one child is amazing. They really love one another. Their little eyes light up when they see each other. You will always have those tender moments with each of your children that you cherish. You just have to make time for them. So, take some time out of your day to really spend that quality time with your child, and get to know them. Before you know it, they will be grown up and all you will have are your memories and your pictures, and a feeling that time has passed by way too fast.

Cherish The Moment!!!

My daughter loves animals, and so it was only fitting that we get her a little pet. Now, you are probably thinking…why does a woman with a husband and two kids want to now take care of a pet???

I don’t!

Now don’t get me wrong, I love animals. I especially love dogs and would love to get one someday, but when my children are older. Dogs take a lot of work, and are like another child. I just don’t think I could give a dog the attention they need. Also, after just having to put our cat down last year, I am still grieving the loss of her. I can’t imagine getting another cat. I can’t stand birds, they are very noisy. Rabbits are messy, mice are not meant to be pets, hamsters don’t really have a long life I don’t think, and I really don’t like fish (they are always looking at you).

Instead, we got ourselves the PERFECT pet. Her name is Pom Pom. She is a white puppy dog that my daughter fell in love with as we were passing by the toy store. She is complete with batteries and a leash. The benefits of Pom Pom include:

1. I never have to feed her.
2. I never have to walk her.
3. I never have to scoop up poop.
4. I never have vet bills.
5. I never have to smell dog breath.
6. I never have dog hair on my furniture.
7. If she is becoming too loud, I turn the switch to off.
8. And the best part, my daughter loves her so much!

 Baby Song(Diane Woolley)

Toddler’s Creed 

Playing is recognized as a critical aspect of child development.  The American Academy of Pediatrics in 2006 found that “free and unstructured play is healthy, and in fact- essential for helping children reach important social, emotional, and cognitive developmental milestones as well as helping them manage stress and become resilient”.

The importance of play:

It can inspire a child to think differently about things and situations.

It brings joy to the child’s life.

Play can reduce childhood stress.  (Yes, children can suffer from stress, even at a young age).

Play can stimulate the curosity, creativity and imagination of a child. 

Some theorists believe play is a necessary part of building their competence, confidence, socializing, emotional health, physical health, motivation, and love of learning.

Now, don’t go out and buy out all of Toys R Us.  One good way to continually stimulate your child is to take toys away periodically so that the child isn’t overwhelmed.  Its hard for a child to fully focus with one toy and use it for imagination.  When you rotate the toys, it gives kids a chance to give the toys a play and rediscover the ones they haven’t seen in awhile.  Rotate the toys every month or so.  Wash them, and always check them for safety, loose ends, etc.  In a child’s world, if a toy reappears after being gone for a month, it seems brand new to them and sparks their imagination.  I always do this on a regular basis.  It works great.

Always remember that a baby doesn’t need a lot of toys at one time because they can become over-stimulated.  2-3 toys at most can stimulate them.  Singing and talking to your baby is the best way to promote socialization and language development. 

For the toddler and preschooler, rotating the toys keep things exciting for them.  Play with them on the floor, but also give them the chance to play on their own, and become independent.

I love garage sales for toys.  As long as you can wash them off well, the child doesn’t care if they are new.  They are new to them. 

Play More…..Live More!!!

I have to say, I am one of the most laid back people ever.  I really have to light a fire under my butt (so to speak) to exercise.  However, when I do, I have so much fun that I wonder why I had to motivate myself to do it in the first place.

Exercise at any time in your life is important.  After having gained over 50 lbs with my first pregnancy, the harsh reality was that I needed exercise to try and get my figure back.  I would just like to briefly point out some of the benefits of regular exercise.  First, exercise releases chemicals in the brain which in turn decrease stress levels and can leave you in a happier mood than when you orignally were.  If kids and a husband don’t cause you a little stress than I don’t know what does.

Regular exercise also helps to manage high blood pressure, cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, and osteoporosis.  It also promotes better sleep at night.  It can add a little pazzazz in your sex life.  It can give you energy and make you feel better about yourself. 

My personal best reason is that exercise is good for weight management.  It delivers oxygen and nutrients to your tissues.  After gaining weight during pregnancy, it is a great way to try and get your figure back into pre-pregnancy clothing.

After listing all those reasons for why we should exercise, why on earth would we not ?  It makes the response “I don’t feel like it” or “I don’t have time” seem really inferior.

As I was struggling to do sit-ups yesterday at my “Have a Ball with Mom” class, the instructor said something really nice.  She said “take a minute to thank your abdomens for giving you such beautiful babies”.   As I was sitting there in mid sit up, I forgot about the strain on my abdomen and I thought about what she said.  I am very lucky because I can always work on my abdomen through exercise, but I couldn’t imagine my life without my children.

Always consult with a healthcare provider before starting an exercise routine.  If you are postpartum, you should wait until your 6 week follow-up appt with your doctor before you start and exercise routine.

Before my workout, I felt like a lazy blob.  After my workout, I felt re-energized for the rest of the day.  It was great!  And as I always say,

“Short term pain = Long term gain”.

I am trying to remember what my life was like before having children.  I vaguely remember sleeping in until 11am or noon and crawling out of bed, only to laze around and watch movies all day with my husband.  Ahhhhhhhhh……those were the days.

I am now trying to make blood-shot eyes a new fashion statement.  Now I know why women say that having children causes you to have gray hair.  The last week has been especially rough, because my baby girl Talia has been sick with a cold ( which she got from Natara’s birthday party, urrhhh).  Naturally, she hasn’t been sleeping so great.  We are living in a world of vapourizers around here.

Lastnight was another rough night.  Talia woke up at 3am and wanted to feed.  Luckily, she went right back down.  Unfortunately, at around 4am Natara woke up with a nightmare, and then again, and again.  The last time I went in to her room and I stayed with her until she fell back to sleep.  Partly because I wanted her to feel safe and secure, secondly because she has a nice single bed and my husband snores like you wouldn’t believe.  He snores so loud, he could bring the house down with the vibrations (sorry hun!, Its nothing I haven’t said to you already).

Between one hungry booger-filled baby, one preschooler suffering from nightmares, and one loud-sleeping husband, it makes for a very difficult night’s sleep.  I don’t think anyone can prepare you for the sleep deprivation parenting brings, you just have to roll with the punches.  I am the type of person who really needs a good 7-8 hours of sleep a night to feel well rested.  And now, with breastfeeding, it seems to take a lot more energy out of me.

You hear the advice, sleep when the baby sleeps.  For starters, it is very difficult to wind back down when the baby sleeps.  Also, when you have more than one child it is virtually impossible.  Very rarely, do the kids ever sleep at the same time.  In my case, my oldest girl doesn’t even nap in the afternoon at all.   I should really learn to go to bed when the kids go to bed at night.  However, that is my only chance for down time and to also talk to my husband.

So then…what do you do?  Either get someone to watch the kids for you so you can have a snooze, or suck it up, drink some coffee, and go about your daily routine.  In my case, I took the second option.  I think it is part of being a mother.  You are almost subconsciously programmed to carry on and pick up the pieces.  That is why God chose women to give birth, we are stronger by nature.  (No offense guys).

Only 12 more hours until my bedtime….and counting!

Today my husband and I went shopping for some new clothes.  I have a pathetic wardrobe of three jeans, one in which has a large whole at the bottom of the leg.  My shirts have been either in my closet for many years, or they just don’t fit properly anymore.  If you are like me, I spend all of my money on my children’s wardrobe, or it is just so difficult to go shopping with 2 kids,  I don’t bother.  Shopping now post-pregnancy is much more difficult than before.  I have to try on everything, and I am lucky if 1/2 of what I put in the change room actually fits.

Anyways, today we went to another city, to a department store that we don’t have in our city.  The deals were phenomenal.  There is something so exciting about buying a whole new mini wardrobe for cheap.  I love saving money.  Now, I get to give away a lot of my old clothes to the Goodwill, and replenish my wardrobe with new clothes, pants that don’t have holes in them, and a whole new attitude.  It makes you feel like a whole new woman.

Go out today and buy something for yourself, or do something for yourself and not just your kids.  It is good for your soul.  So many mothers give up everything for their children, they often forget about their own needs.  Its so important for mothers to not lose their own identity in the journey of motherhood.

I went shopping at the local mall today with the family.  Everytime I go into that place, I leave very annoyed.  I am not allowed to bring a stoller on the escalator.  There are 2 elevators in the mall.  There are signs posted “Give priority to elderly, people in wheelchairs, and people with strollers”.  Everytime I try and use the elevator, there are so many people who obviously don’t have strollers, wheelchairs and aren’t elderly.  It is very unlikely that a pile of 5 teenagers would all have heart conditions.  And its not only teenagers, there are often 2-3 adults at a time.  What is so strenous about putting two feet on an escalator that automatically takes you “up” where you want to do, instead of hopping in an elevator.  People are so thoughtless.  They only think of their own selfish needs.  Unfortunately, I am not the type of person who likes conflict.  When I am faced with something like this, I usually just bite my tongue and rant to my husband later.

Then its time to nurse the baby.  Where do you think that the only nursing room is?  Yes, thats right, in the bathroom.  Its in a bathroom stall with a bench; in a bathroom that looks like it hasn’t been cleaned all week, and a plastic garbage bag placed over one of the toilets reading, “out of order”.  And ofcourse, all soap dispensers are out of soap.  Now, doesn’t this sound appetizing?  Wouldn’t you want to eat your lunch in a sanitary place like this?  NO, OFCOURSE YOU WOULDN’T.  So why should my baby girl have to eat her lunch in the “crapper”.  You know, all of these places are supposed to be “breastfeeding friendly”.  Well, if shafting the breastfeeding moms in a stall to breastfeed is considered friendly, I would hate to see what they consider a punishment.

I wrote an email with my concerns to the shopping centre, and they responded with “we are going to be rennovating”.  However, this bathroom is new within the past five years, and if there are three floors and hundreds of stores, you would think they would cater more to their customers.

My oldest daughter has been potty-trained for about 3 months now.  For the last 2 months I haven’t even been putting a pull-up on her at night because she always woke up dry, or she would wake up and tell me she had to go potty. 

Last night at 3:30am I had my 3 year old crying “mommie, mommie”.  I went to see what was wrong, and after trying to figure out what she was trying to say to me, I realized that she was saying “I want to clean my bum”. 

No big deal.  Accidents happen I told her.  My husband and I both gave her a big hug and told her that it was okay.  We put her on the potty and she urinated some more, while we changed her bed.

Despite the one little accident, she has been doing incredible.  Back in february she wouldn’t even sit on the potty.  She would urinate in her pullup and tell me after the fact.  Even the “cool alerts” didn’t work.  So, how did I potty train her?

Chocolate!  Lots of chocolate.  Well, maybe not lots.  However, I have never been one to endorse junk food so she really wasn’t used to having it.  I initially just gave her a micro mini egg or a hershey kiss just for “sitting” on the potty.  Once she got comfortable with sitting on the potty, I told her that they didnt’ make diapers in her size anymore and that she would have to go potty.  I put on some “big girl” underwear with children’s characters on them and put on some old play pants on her.  Then, I let the chips fall where they may.

When she first started urinating in her pants, she started to cry because she didn’t like the feeling of being “wet”.  As soon as she did this, I picked her up quickly and stuck her on the toilet.  Usually she urinated a little more, so then I gave her a treat and clapped with joy.  We did that a few more times, and I did a lot of laundry.  I made sure to stay at home for a good two days so that we were close to the bathroom.  Eventually, she told me when she had to go to the potty and we had no more accidents.

When she had to have a bowel movement, that was a little more difficult.  She was very scared to have a bowel movement in the toilet so it took another 2 weeks.  We started doing the “poo poo dance” when she went in the potty, so then she wanted to go poo all the time.

After it became habit for Natara to go on the potty, I weened her off of the chocolat.  Now, its just another thing in her routine, and she is doing fantastic.

I guess it all boils down to readiness.  Child or adult; if you don’t have the readiness to learn, you aren’t going to learn the new information or skill.  Only when you are interested in learning, will you be able to take on something new.

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, I thought of some things I would really like.  Hopefully, my husband will read this!

To be able to go to the washroom before my bladder is ready to burst.

To be able to drink my coffee before it resembles a cheap, iced capuchino knock-off.

To sleep in.

To not have to “think” about what is for dinner.

To not be a walking piece of tissue for little kids to wipe their noses on.

To not hear any temper-tantrums.

To not have to delegate what tasks need to be done.  It they could miraculously get done, that would be great.

To have a shower in peace.

To not be covered in baby spit-up by 12-noon.

To actually be able to finish my meal without hearing “mommeeeeeee, I am donee!!!” or having to get up for a crying baby.

To be able to play with my children and not have to worry about emptying the dishwasher, making supper, doing laundry, or any other task that needs to be done.